Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2017 💗 💙

This year for the first time since Lily's birth, I was able to be at her spot in Crozet, Virginia on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15th for the international Wave of Light. There were a lot of things happening in Virginia over that weekend and I was glad I could be there (will share more later). It turned out to be quite the special and peaceful evening spent with my mom, Aunt Sarah, Uncle Steve, and Aunt Helen. It was actually Helen's birthday, so it meant a lot that she drove almost the hour trip to spend the evening with us.

I had this picture in my head of how I wanted it to look... I wanted multiple candles lining both stones, lighting up the darkness. Lily is buried by family... her great-great-grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-aunt. Bumma and her baby Rachel who she lost are there beside her, so I wanted to be at the place where I could be near them all. My mom found a bag of many small colorful candles at Bumma's house as she was working on cleaning there earlier in the week. So Bumma provided the lights this year! :) I got there before dark and lit the candles and it looked gorgeous with the mountains in the background.

My mom took this short video of me lighting one of the candles.

Each Fall, I like to take mini pumpkins to Lily's spot but couldn't find them anywhere... but then right before driving over to the cemetery, I made another stop to check if this particular store had them and they did!! I was able to decorate Lily's spot just the way I wanted. The bouquet of flowers were gorgeous from the Pregnancy Center Banquet (I'll share about that soon). I brought a couple things for the evening, including Lily's foot and handprint.

The cemetery was actually made cozy by the candles... never thought I'd say that. My mom usually doesn't like going to the cemetery like I do. Some people find it comforting and others don't and that's okay. She said on that evening that it was the first time there that she got a good feeling, and it was because of the warm glow of the candles. My aunt and uncle said it looked pretty as they were driving up.

It was a cool evening and thankfully there wasn't any rain. The evening was simple in that I didn't really have much planned besides the actual candle lighting. I ended up playing a song called "Lily" by Marianne Alme. It's gorgeous and reminds me of my little flower.

I then read aloud a little something I wrote about why I light my candle for the Wave of Light:

October 15th ~ Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The International Wave of Light.

I light my candle because I treasure the sanctity of each irreplaceable, beautiful life made in the image of God.

I light my candle to say that these lives have dignity and value and they deserve to be acknowledged and remembered.

I light my candle for the little ones I've grown to love over the last 7 1/2 years in knowing their parents... way too many to even begin to name here.

I light my candle for Lily Katherine and Rachel Ross, my daughter and aunt who came into our family and were physically here for a brief time, yet they forever altered the fabric of our lives.

Most of all, I light my candle as a symbol of hope that the Light of Christ shines into the deepest darkness of grief and death and one day He will set all things right.

We stayed for the hour for the Wave of Light in our timezone. I layed on my back in the grass and gazed up at the October night sky, with sparkly stars shining brightly and beautifully.

As we were sitting there chatting, a dog appeared out of nowhere. Then a lady came running up chasing after him (there is a gas station next door to the cemetery). I had her adorable little dog in my arms to give back to her. I thought that she must be thinking we were a bunch of weirdos out there at night in a cemetery with candles lit, so I explained what the day was and what we were doing haha.

After we left the cemetery, we went to Dairy Queen for a treat. I had a pumpkin pie blizzard. :) 

The entire day was special. I went to church with my friend Jer (his dad is a pastor). Then I had lunch with their family. Then we were at Bumma's in the afternoon. The day felt peaceful and I know I will look back on memories of the day with fondness.