Maturity

As time passes and the years since Lily was born and died tick by faster and faster, I can see the maturity God is cultivating within me. Maturity in my character and in my relationship with Him. And maturity in my mothering my daughter. In many ways this maturity has developed only because of the years of pain.

You know how "they" say that time heals all wounds? Well I am 7+ years into living without my baby and that is simply not true. In many ways, the more time that passes, the more it hurts, especially when life seems to move on for other people in ways it hasn't for me.

Yet I do see that over time (not because of time, but rather the Lord working through time), that He has matured me as a mother. He has deepened and matured my love for Lily. I truly treasure her more now than I did 7 years ago. And He has matured me in my ability to see her life and death as a part of His plan, and in my acceptance of realizing I'll never fully understand why she had to go... but holding firmly to the truth that Jesus is trustworthy.

In the midst of all those years, all you can see are the individual days until suddenly you wake up 7 years later and see Him weaving a story of deeper healing and wholeness. And realizing that sometimes wholeness is found in our brokenness and understanding that only Heaven will fully restore us. Until then, our fragmented pieces tell a greater story of His love and grace and how He keeps us from completely falling apart.

Hold on... He is doing a new thing, even when you cannot see it yet. 💕