What I notice is that with each name spoken, there are memories associated with that person. Memories of their laugh, their expressions, things they said, how they acted, what they liked or disliked... basically all the things that make someone who they are. These things are missed and felt when they are gone.
With Lily, I wish my family could love her the way I do. I wish they had these same memories associated with her memory and name. I wish they knew the sound of her voice and all the quirky, silly, adorable things about her... the things that make us smile and cry now about other family members. I just wish they could have known her like they knew the others who are gone. I wish her name was dropped into conversations in the same way. I wish they could love her the same. Because she is just as real and irreplaceable as each member of the family that ever came before her and will ever come after her.
And even if she isn't spoken of in the same way... even if the memories they hold are of seeing me while pregnant with her or standing over her grave at her burial, I know that her place isn't any less than it is. It just is. It cannot be tainted or torn. It cannot be lessened by lack of days or fondness of memories.
Her precious little life was here and I have the memories of her that I wish others held too. I just want to share all of her and for others to love her with the same depth and knowing as my mother heart. 💕
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