My twin older brothers, Adam and Joseph, were the first-born grandchildren on my mom's side. It's funny how twins have their own "twin language," using the same words, phrases, etc. When they were little, they dubbed our grandparents "Bumma and Bumpa."
It's common for grandchildren to decide what they want to refer to these special people in their lives, their parents parents, as. Whether the names be MawMaw and PawPaw (what we called my dad's parents), Grandma and Grandpa, among many other possible names. From what I've seen, the names usually stick with future grandchildren. Even now that my siblings, cousins, and I are mostly grown, we all lovingly call her our Bumma. :)
Yesterday, some of my family and I were discussing this very topic. And the thought again popped into my mind... Lily is the first-born grandchild. She should have already decided upon my mom and dad's names as grandparents. We shouldn't be wondering now what they'll be called. But instead, my niece will be the one to decide what to call them.
Obviously nobody intends this to hurt me and it's not like any of us have any say otherwise. We don't know what Lily would have called them because she's not here.
But that's exactly why it does hurt so much. Here is yet another thing I'm missing with her.
It reminds me of a quote I just read this week that says, "This is the thing that many people outside of your grief cannot understand.. You have not simply lost one person at one point in time. You have lost their presence in every aspect of your life." -Megan Devine
Every aspect of what could have been had her perfect heart kept beating is forever changed.
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Lily and her grandmother
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