The Immeasurable Ripple Effects of Her Life

When I think of the thousands of people who have heard Lily's story through the years, from me sharing it through speaking around the country and writing, as well as having opportunities to share through other avenues, I am blown away by the grand plan of my Heavenly Father.

God whispered to my heart in August 2009 that if I chose LIFE for my unborn baby, I couldn't imagine the beauty that He would bring (you can read more of my testimony by clicking HERE if you are unfamiliar with what I'm talking about). In that moment of crisis and decision, I had no idea that He would call my sweet babe Home to be with Him before she ever took her first breath. Yet, I also had no idea all He had planned through my embracing her life. I had no idea that thousands of people would hear about her and come to love her.

She was a tiny baby who was but a seed growing away within me, hidden from all eyes, yet seen by the God of the entire Universe. In that moment, God was fighting for her life and mine. He knew of the breathtakingly beautiful and enormous plan He had for her, even before I ever made my decision. He knew of all the people who would one day be moved by her story. He could see all that even when she was unseen by me. WOW, God is amazing!

Each year around Lily's birthday, I think about how since her last birthday, many more people know about her and the impact she's made in this world. So many dear people I have had the pleasure of meeting because of her.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my grandmother, Bumma, and telling her all about Lily's birthday. She told me about the different people who were praying for my family and thinking about Lily. And she said something really profound that felt like it was a message I needed to hear straight from the Lord. She told me I need to know that the ripples are out there, the ripple effects of how Lily's life is impacting the world. The ripples go further than what I am seeing and hearing, beyond and above what I know, even if people don't say something to me directly.

I will receive an email or comment or hear from someone about how Lily's life has impacted them and through those things, God will encourage me to keep sharing. Because I see that He is still using her, all these years later, to change hearts. As I have said, Lily is an eternal flower, given as an eternal gift from an eternal God. And her legacy will never fade.

Corrie ten Boom said, "The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration but its donation."

When I am looking more at my pain than at the beauty of Lily's life and legacy, it can be easy to lose sight of all this. But then God cups my face in His hands and shows me He is sovereign and everything has always been in His control. He reminds me that more people know about Lily because of her death than they would have had she lived. And she is making more of an impact not here than she would have if she were here. As I've said before, she was never meant to be a little girl of this world. She was called to be my daughter of Heaven.

A friend of mine once said that God entrusted me with Lily's life and legacy because He knew He could trust me with this particular story that He's writing. It's not a curse to be chosen for this, but a blessing. God knew He could trust me to be Lily and Luke's voice. He knew He could trust me to mother them well, for it was Him who put the love and passion within me in the first place!

When I get up before a crowd of people to speak, I think of that moment when He asked me to surrender my life and future and the life of my unborn child into His hands. He knew what He was doing then and He still does now. He's still asking me to surrender and trust.

And He was right... I never could have dreamed of the beauty that He would bring. As Steven Curtis Chapman sings in his song, "Beauty Will Rise," "It will take our breath away to see the beauty that He's made out of the ashes."

I'm still trying to catch my breath.