She's a Part of My Christmas

This would be Lily's 4th Christmas (outside of the womb). It honestly hasn't even felt very much like Christmas this year.

Everything feels so different... my brother got married this year. This is the first year he won't be with my family on Christmas Day. He will be with his new wife's family in another state. And my sister will be spending Christmas with her boyfriend's family. And we are not in Virginia this year with our extended family, but staying in North Carolina where we have no relatives. It will be my parents, my other brother, and me... and our animals.

Anyways, I am just missing the way things were. I am wishing life didn't have to change so much, so fast. I am missing my should-be-three-year-old at Christmas. This year, she would be really excited for Christmas and I would love teaching her about Jesus.

As Lily's headstone says, "How desolate our lives bereft of thee..." That's how it's feeling this Christmas without her.

Just because Lily is not physically here doesn't mean she can't be included... these are some ways I have incorporated her into the Christmas season...

I decorated Lily's special spot for Christmas... this is the first year her stone is there for the season.

I found Christmas wrapping paper with lilies on it that I used to wrap most of the presents I gave others.

I decorated Lily's and Luke's mini Christmas tree with lights and their special ornaments... it was on my desk in my room this year.

I got three new ornaments this year for their tree.

I got this cute Christmas angel for Lily's Garden at my home.

My mom and I put together a box for Operation Christmas Child for the second year in a row (it's now an annual tradition). We are able to Christmas shop for a little girl who is the age Lily would be... it is very special and healing to do this in Lily's honor and memory. I signed the card from my mom, sister, me, and Lily... it made me smile to sign her name.

I won this Christmas pendant from a Facebook giveaway by Tiny Dream Shop. It is hand-painted with a glittered poinsettia and features a cute, little winter angel sprinkling snow on the flower. It has been special to wear in remembrance of Lily for Christmas.

I got this Christmas Beach Wonderland image from CarlyMarie.

I wanted to get red nail polish for Christmas and found a color called "Red Velvet." I just had to get this color because it reminded me of my girl and made me smile. :)

This is a beautiful Christmas poem I found a couple years ago that reminds me of Lily and brings comfort to my heart...

Christmas in Heaven

by Wanda White

I see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES

around the world below with tiny lights like

HEAVEN’S STARS reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear

for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS

that people hold so dear

but the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare

with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.

I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring

for it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.

I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME,

I see the pain inside your heart

for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR

or the PEACE here in this place

Can you just imagine

CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face

I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT

as I tell him of your love

so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER

 as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL

and let your SPIRIT SING

for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

and I’m walking WITH THE KING

As everyone is enjoying Christmas, my heart is holding close those who are hurting this time of year, for many different reasons.. Praying for comfort and peace as we dwell upon the TRUE meaning of Christmas, which is so much more than baking cookies and sending out cute family photos. Oh precious Jesus, thank you for your hope and LIFE!!

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