Mid-January Memories

I am remembering what mid-January has brought in the past years...

On January 15th, 2010, friends from my local support group gave birth to and lost their precious twin sons, who were born too soon...

On January 15th, 2011, friends from my local support group were supposed to give birth to their precious daughter, who also came too soon, the September before that...

On January 15th, 2012, friends from my local support group were supposed to give birth to their precious son (Marcellus who I have written about quite a few times), who also came too soon, the October before that...

It is crazy how people in my group have so many similar names and dates in common.

Exactly three years ago today, on January 16th, 2010, I remember just what I was doing...Lily was exactly two months from making her arrival. My mom, sister, and I participated in the Raleigh Rally and March for Life downtown. We made signs to carry and I was so proud to show off my prego belly! I remember the powerful speeches that were made, that I have video recorded to this day. I remember walking really far and getting tired, being seven months pregnant and all.

I also remember the precious 6-week old baby boy named Nathaniel who we met there...my mom and I talked to his mom. The family had all red-headed children, including little Nathaniel. He was so cute! Nathaniel seemed enamored with me! I said he knew Lily was growing away inside me. :) We joked and said that he and Lily were going to get married one day...it would be an "arranged marriage," whether they liked it or not. ;) I remember I couldn't stop staring at him because of how precious he was and I longed to one day soon hold my own bundle of baby love.

In 2011, my mom and I saw him and his family at the North Carolina Right to Life Prayer Breakfast. Right away, we recognized his mom from the year before and my heart ached so much knowing Lily should have been there that year, outside of the womb. She could have finally met Nathaniel, who had grown so much in a year's time. He was walking all over the place.

At times, we still think of little Nathaniel and wonder where he is now...he is over 3 now. I bet he still has that red hair. But, he will never marry Lily. Even if it was just a joke, it's just a reminder that she will never marry anyone. Oh, how I dreamed of her marrying an amazing Christian man one day and having precious children of her own - my grandchildren. I didn't just lose a daughter, but more possible family members...so many dreams and desires were lost on that stormy March day in 2010.