Capture Your Grief-Day 7

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2012 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 7: What TO Say
October 7, 2012 ♥

Day 7. What To Say: We all talk about the bad things people say to us but we rarely focus on the good that people say to us. Share a tip for those who don’t have any idea on what to say. Write it down – photograph it.

-"Her name, Lily Katherine."

Don't be afraid to say Lily's name. She is a very real person and an irreplaceable part of my life and family. You can ask questions about her and show that you care about her life. This can be one of the most important things. Do not pretend she never lived and that I never lost her. And please don't avoid seeing me, calling me, etc because you feel uncomfortable talking about her. Also realize that not only was a child lost, but a grandchild, niece, nephew, cousin, etc. Reach out to the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. They are grieving too. 

"The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the music of her name! It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul!" ~Author Unknown

"If you know someone who has lost a child and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift." ~Elizabeth Edwards

-"How are you...really?"

It means so much when people ask how I am and truly want to hear the answer.

-"She is so beautiful!"
Nothing makes my mama heart smile like when someone tells me this. :) I love when you ask to see photos of her...the only photos I will ever have of my girl.

-"Her LIFE and legacy has impacted me."
This makes me so honored that the Lord chose to give me someone so wonderful.

-"I can't wait to meet her in Heaven!"
I can't wait to be there too!

-"This made me think of you and Lily."
Whether it's a picture of something, a Lily blooming somewhere, a butterfly or whatever else, it means so much to know she is on your heart.

-"Happy Birthday to Lily!"
If Lily were here, people would celebrate her birthday...she was still born on March 16th and deserves celebration and honor each year on her special day. Thank you to those who love her along with me.

-"Happy Mother's Day!"
I am a mother and I will be forever...thank you for recognizing that.

-"You must really be missing Lily today."
Yes, I am...I miss her every day. I especially love it when you say you miss her too. And that you love her.

-A simple "I'm so sorry" with a hug and listening ear.
I don't expect you to always know what to say or how to say it. Sometimes it can be the simplest statement that comforts my heart the most. I am sharing this photo with cards I received since losing Lily to show how much it means to me when people reach out. Even if you don't know what to say, just showing you care and love me and are there for me speaks more than you realize. Saying the "wrong" thing is better than saying nothing at all.

-"I'll never forget her."
A couple years have passed since having Lily and lots of people expect that I should be "over it" by now. It hurts to feel forgotten and like Lily is forgotten. Holidays, anniversaries, and her birthday are especially difficult days. I love it when you remember those days. She will live forever in my heart...thank you for telling me she lives in yours too...


-Another one I thought of is "I'm praying for you." I can always use prayer.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project, click here.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing, click here.