Capture Your Grief-Day 5

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2012 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 5: Memorials

October 5, 2012 ♥

Day 5. Memorial: This could be anything you have had done in memory of your baby/ies/child/ren. It could be their plaque at the cemetery or a tree that has been planted in their memory, anything at all.

I pour my love into creating memorials in honor of my daughter, Lily Katherine. Since she is not here for me to mother, it feels as if doing special things to honor and remember her is my way of mothering her.

First of all, I regularly write on my blog, which was made because of my girl, as a way to share my story. I consider it a living tribute/memorial. I share her as much as possible, with as many people as possible.

My mom and I are working on hospital babyloss care packages to donate to the hospital she was born at in her honor.

I include Lily daily in my thoughts and conversations. I know it is up to me to make sure she isn't forgotten. I take pictures when I see things that remind me of her (little winks from Heaven, I call them).

We had a very special service and burial for her in March 2010. I read a letter out loud that I wrote to Lily and my grandmother read out loud something special that my mom wrote. Others shared things too.

This picture shows some of my favorite ways we have honored Lily. On the top left is her memorial garden in our yard that my mom (Lily's grandmother who is an amazing gardener) lovingly created. I like to go sit there to think and pray. It has special plaques and garden accessories for Lily, a bleeding heart plant given to me at her Celebration of LIFE Service, lilies given to me on her 2nd birthday, and other beautiful plants. On the bottom left is the shadow box I made for Lily. On the top right is where her "special spot" (or where she is buried) is at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Crozet, Virginia, USA. She doesn't have a headstone yet, so I have a temporary marker out there and other special things. Her headstone will be tiny and cute for a baby with a little lamb sitting on top (very old-fashioned). The bottom right is a photo taken at the National Memorial for the Unborn, where Lily will soon have a brick placed in the garden dedicated to miscarried and stillborn babies. And the middle picture is Lily's name in the sand in Perth, Australia, written by CarlyMarie. I plan on getting it printed to canvas to hang on my wall.

On her birthdays, I like to plan really special things for her...such as butterfly releases, balloon releases, ladybug releases, sky lantern releases, eating red-velvet cake (which is a tradition), eating hashbrowns for my little Spud who was due on March 14th (National Potato Chip Day in the United States), going to Cracker Barrel, among other things I hope to do for future birthdays. For her 2nd birthday this year, I made her a video tribute.

I participate in walks and remembrance ceremonies in her honor. On days such as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I light a special candle for Lily. I also do this on Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Christmas, and other holidays. I get her a pumpkin in the fall and hang Christmas ornaments in her honor. I am purposeful about including her and loving her the only way I know how.

I also have a cedar memory chest which I fill tangible memories of Lily, such as her hair, foot impression, prints, birth certificate, etc. and other momentos I've gotten for her such as figurines and jewelry. I have reminders of her scattered throughout my life and home. Butterflies are everywhere.

I love all the work Carly Marie does and enjoy getting things from her. I love when people write Lily's name anywhere and everywhere and send me the picture or when they see things that remind them of my girl and send me a photo of it or simply tell me about it.

Just as I would never stop getting special things or doing special things for Lily if she were here on earth, I try to do the same (just in a different way) for my daughter of Heaven.

I hope that sharing this will inspire others to honor their children in similar ways.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project, click here.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing, click here.

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