Friday, October 26, 2012

Capture Your Grief-Day 26

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2012 Photography Project 
Day 26: Her Age
October 26, 2012 ♥


Day 26. Their Age: How old was your baby/ies/child/ren when they died. Write it down on a piece of paper. If they died whilst you were pregnant you can write their gestation.

I carried Lily for nine glorious months...40 weeks and 2 days. Those were the best days because they were spent with her. She was due on March 14, 2010 and born on March 16. I showed up at the hospital, ready to deliver my healthy and beautiful daughter, only to discover her precious heart had stopped beating. She was already at Home with Jesus. I waited to deliver the body of the one who was already waiting for me in the Kingdom. If I had known this was all the time I would ever have, I would have cherished it more fully. Lily has taught me so much.

So often, I think of all the possibilities of what her life may have held...a life that I'll never know past 40 weeks, 2 days.
40 weeks.
2 days.
That's all I'll ever know.


She never got to meet her mama, her home for her entire life, the only world she ever knew. She never got to see the face of the one whose voice was so familiar. She never got to feel my warm skin against hers, my salty tears of joy falling on her beautiful face as I held her for the first time.

It gives me joy to know what she knew...the beating of my heart, the blood rushing through my veins, my stomach grumbling when I'd get *her* cravings (cereal, hashbrowns, chocolate, and strawberries). She knew her favorite music that she'd dance to, especially the Jewel lullaby CD that I'd play so loudly! And she knew my voice. She heard me. She knew me. And I knew her. In a way that only a mother and her child can know each other.

My pure princess only ever knew love. She will remain pure and innocent always. No tears, no sadness, no sin, no pain. My precious daughter of Heaven.

We made beautiful memories in those months I held her within and in that day I held her sweet body in my arms...and now I do all I can to honor and remember her.

I carried her for those months and now I will carry her in my heart always until we reunite in Eternity...I'm resting in the truth that Lily fulfilled every purpose on earth that God sent her here for in only 40 weeks and 2 days.

If Lily were alive today, she would be 2 years, 7 months, 1 week and 3 days old. What would that even be like? Time flies so fast, even when your missing someone so much and not wanting to get farther from them...

"I praise You because *Lily* is fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

-To see all of my photos from the photography project, click here.
-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing, click here.

Photobucket

1 comment:

  1. Oh Hannah... I see the pain and joy written in this; I'm so broken alongside you that your precious girl isn't here... but that she is in heaven glorifying the Father and did not experience the pains of this world gives me joy.
    Thank you sweet sister for your open heart to share and do this journey with others. Bless you... xo Rachael

    ReplyDelete