Capture Your Grief-Day 17

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2012 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 17: Anniversary/Birthday/Due Date

October 17, 2012 ♥

Day 17. Anniversary/Birthday/Due Dates: Share a photo of what you did for your baby/ies/child/rens special day. Did you hide away in bed? Did you have a cake? Did you have a party? What did you do?

I chose this photo taken on Lily's 2nd Heavenly birthday because it has a balloon to represent her special day and lilies to represent her. :) It's hard to have a picture to capture everything I want to share.

Each year on Lily's birthday, we eat at Cracker Barrel, which is my favorite restaurant and where I liked eating during my pregnancy. We also have the tradition of eating red-velvet cake on her birthday, which is the cake I had at my Valentine's themed baby shower. Another tradition is giving a gift to a little girl who lives on our street, who shares a birthday with Lily. She turned 7 on the day Lily was born. In the future, I would like to sponsor a girl through Compassion who was also born on March 16, 2010. I light a candle for Lily each birthday evening and watch her video tribute with my family. My mom gave me roses and lilies for her 1st birthday and my brother gave me lilies for her 2nd birthday.

For Lily's 1st Heavenly birthday, I wanted the celebration to be intimate and special because honestly I was grieving and didn't have the energy to do much. So, I just celebrated with my family and best friend, Kala. My mom and I went and had lunch in the cafe at the hospital where Lily was born, on March 17th, the day we left with empty arms.

For Lily's 2nd Heavenly birthday, I went and got Lily's birth certificate. I also had a party with friends from my local support group, with a delicious brunch and balloon release.

Unfortunately, Lily's "special spot" where she is buried is in my hometown in Virginia and I live in North Carolina, so I don't get to visit there on her birthday. But, some of my wonderful friends have taken her things to her spot on her birthday each year. It is such a blessing when people remember my girl with me and send me cards, graphics, a gift, or just a short message of love and encouragement.

For her 3rd birthday next year, I am hoping to place her headstone and have a butterfly release. I am also going to donate the hospital comfort boxes that my mom and I have been working on for a long time and are finally getting things all worked out. I hope to do that each year. There are lots of things I plan on doing in her honor on her birthday in years to come and I find it a great joy and comfort to plan for and anticipate her special day. It is still a day of celebration after all, of my precious little flower's LIFE.

Lily was due on March 14, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so we called her Spud. :) Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hashbrowns. I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate that we've made eating them a tradition each year on her due date, in honor of our little Spud. Even though she didn't arrive on her due date, it was the date I associated with Lily for my entire pregnancy, so naturally, I still think of her on that date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I have always liked even numbers better, rather than odd.

I remember dates so well. Every year, I think of what I was doing on that date when Lily was here...the date I told my mom I was pregnant, the date of my first ultrasound, the date I found out for sure she was a GIRL, the date of my baby shower, the date of her Celebration of LIFE Service and burial. All these anniversaries are etched upon my heart forever.

On days such as these, both sorrow and beautiful joy exist comfortably within my heart.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project, click here.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing, click here.