Her Half Birthday

Time keeps passing. Steadily. Surely. Six months gone by without her. I move farther and farther away from her with each day and today, that reminder is all too bitter. The six month mark has crept up on me so quickly and it's like a kick in the stomach. The little outfit my cousin got for Lily is hanging on my dresser. It says 6m. I hold it up to me and imagine her body filling it out, resting on my hip. The tears keep coming today. I'm glad I have my infant loss support group tonight. It's hard for me to look at 6 month old babies now and imagine her that size. I try so hard to picture her face and her smile, but I don't know how.


The Jewel-Lullaby album is very special to me. My mom got it for me during my pregnancy and Lily and I listened to it all the time. She would kick so much when I would play it loudly and sing to her. Listening to the CD now is so bittersweet, reminding me of the beautiful times spent with her. I couldn't wait to play it as I would have rocked her. This is my special song for her. Listening to it is a reminder of just how much I miss her. It's a reminder of just how blessed I am to be her mother. It's a reminder of how thankful I am God saved her and gave me 40 glorious weeks and 2 beautiful days with her. It's a reminder of how I will carry around her legacy and love with me always. How would she look today? What outfit would I have put her in? What would we have done to celebrate? Would she be giggling right now? Six months...in a way, I can't believe it's been that long already. Yet, it also seems like time has just dragged on and on and on. Happy half birthday, Lily girl! 





The other day you asked me to
Tell you how much I love you
Oh, but words so often fail
To describe the depth and scale
And even though it may sound cliche
I'll tell you now in my simple way

My love is as true as the oceans are blue
And I'll always feel this way
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day
Always

You watch me turn out the light
Wrap my arms around you, say goodnight
Trace our shadows on the wall
Thank God for the miracle of it all

My love is true as the oceans are blue
And I'll always feel this way
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day
Always

The road of life winds
With the passing of time
I can hear you say
How can hearts know
Where love will go
Beyond today

Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day
Always

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