March 16th, 2010 was one of the worst days I’ve seen. Lily Katherine, a precious darling due March 14th was born dead.
Of course Lily’s chosen life and pre-destined death was God’s plan all along, for she was never meant for this world, but betrothed to the King before her birth.
But, how were they to know? How could we have known about March 16th? I sat in that room as she waited to deliver the body of her child, who was already waiting for her in the Kingdom. I saw the faces of the ones I love so dearly. I felt the pain of desperation and loss, but felt the presence of God as he moved through the room. I never knew I'd want to feel God like this.
God gave me Job earlier this week. And I sat in that room as she waited, and I clung to the Bible like I had nothing else to help me live. Like if I didn’t, I would break. And I cried. And I read Job. And I cried again. And I was praying to my God, our God, to give me strength if they didn’t have any. But they did, and we did. But they will need much more in the days and weeks and months and years to come. How could we have known about March 16th?
She delivered Lily Katherine, and I held her for the first and last time. Her little face never experienced the pain of a fallen world. She never had the chance to cry. But her mother never got the chance to hear her, to look into her wondrous eyes, to see her smile. She lay there, limp and lifeless. Her eyes shut tight, and her mouth rested slightly open. Her lips dark purple, and getting darker as the hours passed. But somehow it was not hard to see God in the face of her child, His child. How could we have known about March 16th?
Of course Lily’s chosen life and pre-destined death was God’s plan all along, for she was never meant for this world, but betrothed to the King before her birth.
But, how were they to know? How could we have known about March 16th? I sat in that room as she waited to deliver the body of her child, who was already waiting for her in the Kingdom. I saw the faces of the ones I love so dearly. I felt the pain of desperation and loss, but felt the presence of God as he moved through the room. I never knew I'd want to feel God like this.
God gave me Job earlier this week. And I sat in that room as she waited, and I clung to the Bible like I had nothing else to help me live. Like if I didn’t, I would break. And I cried. And I read Job. And I cried again. And I was praying to my God, our God, to give me strength if they didn’t have any. But they did, and we did. But they will need much more in the days and weeks and months and years to come. How could we have known about March 16th?
She delivered Lily Katherine, and I held her for the first and last time. Her little face never experienced the pain of a fallen world. She never had the chance to cry. But her mother never got the chance to hear her, to look into her wondrous eyes, to see her smile. She lay there, limp and lifeless. Her eyes shut tight, and her mouth rested slightly open. Her lips dark purple, and getting darker as the hours passed. But somehow it was not hard to see God in the face of her child, His child. How could we have known about March 16th?
(((HUGS))) It's wonderful you had caring people to write about and honor your Lily.
ReplyDeleteThat was so lovely.
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