(My mom wrote this in honor of Lily Katherine and my grandmother read it on her behalf at the service Friday evening, March 26, 2010)
“Jesus called a little
child and had her stand among them. And He said: "I tell you the truth,
unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the
kingdom of Heaven.” ~Matthew 18:2-4
Red is the rose by yonder garden grows and fair is the lily of the valley. My
flower, my first little girl, has birthed her flower, her first little girl.
Like when Jesus was a young boy and Mary could make all things right when he
experienced a hurt, I could do the same for Hannah Rose, when she was a little
girl, like the day I saved her life, while she choked on a bite of hot dog.
However, when Jesus was on his way to the cross, his mother was helpless to
heal His situation, just as I am now. As Anselm of Canterbury said, “For
I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to
understand. For this I believe - that unless I believe I shall not understand.” The
silence in our home is as deafening as it was at Lily’s birth. We find great
comfort in knowing that as her rosebud lips first parted to speak, it was to
praise her Jesus! God obviously ordained the selection of her special name, for
when Hannah Rose named her Lily Katherine, she wasn’t aware that Katherine, as
well as Lily, also means purity. From the start, HR knew that Lily was special
to God, and would be a pure set-apart girl for Him! The inspiration for Lily
came from Song of Solomon 2:2 – “Like a lily among thorns is my darling
among the maidens.” God is good for He has separated Lily unto Himself
where the pain, sin, temptations, and suffering of this fallen world can never
touch her. She will never taste the saltiness of tears. She will never have to
battle the world, the flesh and the devil. She will never have the opportunity
to reject Jesus. Hannah Rose’s Lily will remain forever pure! We take exceeding
comfort in that! Opening her sparkling, blue eyes for the first time, she
beheld her Saviour as He cradled her in His loving arms. This nine month
journey has been precious. First of all, and most importantly, Lily led her
mother back to Jesus. HR’s sacrificial love for her Lily brought my prodigal
daughter back home to her family. God knew she would need our support, love and
strength as she endured a difficult pregnancy and the ultimate loss of her
little flower.
For the girls’ club to lose its newest member is a hard pill to swallow,
especially as the earth is bursting forth with new life resurrecting with the
beauty and promise of spring. We three immensely enjoyed the time God gave us
with Lily: relishing deep, lively discussions and Bible study on living holy
lives, forgiveness, repentance, God’s abundant love and His truth, card making,
shopping, planning, fulfilling Hannah Rose’s (HR would always say it was
Lily’s) food cravings, feathering our nest, making ready her nursery, going to
the 4-D Imaging Center where we found out conclusively that she was a girl,
enjoying ourselves with good friends at the cozy tea party baby shower in our
home on February 13, appointments with Dr. March, ultrasounds to view our
little love and watch her heart beat, traveling, weekly LifeCare classes and
the wonderful support and friendships afforded us there, going on a tour of the
Rex Birth Center, spending all day at the Kids’ Exchange where we bought a
matching stroller and swing for only $40, watching numerous birthing programs,
as well as many hearty laughs at funny theoretical scenarios we’re famous for.
All of these activities were engaged in with exceeding delight. During her
first ultrasound, we quickly became aware that Lily was a spunky girl, as she
showed off her many flips. During each ultrasound, she would look directly at
us so we could see her pretty, delicate facial features. Some of Lily’s
favorite foods were strawberries on cereal, hash browns, Chick-fil-A, and
pizza. Her homecoming outfit was the first purchase we made, even before it had
been determined conclusively that she was indeed a girl. However, we just knew
in our hearts that she was. That very special outfit is the one she’ll be
buried in. It’s pink, bearing roses on the dress and hat in honor of her
mother. Her brown shoes were a symbol of the possibility and potential her life
promised. From the midst of our dashed hopes and dreams arose God’s higher plan.
While shopping, Hannah Rose always knew where she could find me - in the baby
clothes section of any store. Lily experienced many fun trips with us. She
traveled to Thousand Islands in July when she was just a wee one. As she grew,
she had fun with her adoring uncles, Adam and Joseph, at the Panthers/Eagles
game in Charlotte on September 13, and in October, she was with the girls’ club
when Grace took us for a brief respite to Topsail Island. She spent a week at
Massanutten where her mother has enjoyed fun family vacations since she was a
baby, and attended the annual banquet for the Pregnancy Centers of Central
Virginia. She too was rejuvenated as we spent a restorative week at our retreat
haven, with our devoted little charges, Luke and Lili, on Apple Green Lane in
November. She tried to be born in Philly when we were there at Christmas time
for the Eagles/Broncos game. Along with the rest of us, she had fun visiting
historic points of interest, gawking at skyscrapers, traversing cobblestone
streets, discovering quaint coffee shops and indulging in authentic Philly
cheese steak subs. In January, she was with us as we marched in the annual
Raleigh Walk for Life. She enjoyed listening to Copeland, HR’s favorite band,
at their farewell tour in Chapel Hill early in March. All the music Lily heard
helped her prepare the myriad dance moves she spent nine months perfecting for
the viewing pleasure of her Master as she dances on streets of gold before Him.
Of course, we looked forward to her first Easter, pushing her in her stroller
on numerous walks, having her sleep in her comfy Moses basket next to her Dukes
as she toiled in her garden, taking her to Emerald Isle for her mommy’s
twenty-first birthday, her first Christmas, her first birthday, rocking her as we
sang lullabies, hearing her say, “mama,“ and laugh for the first time, feeling
her soft, chubby arms hugging me in return, even changing her dirty diapers.
Our arms are empty but our hearts are full of precious memories we will hold
forever dear!
On our merry way rejoicing to the Rex Birth Center early Tuesday morning, we
could never in our wildest dreams have imagined that shortly after arriving
there, we would become aware that our precious little lamb had died several
days before. Astute Emmaline pointed out to us while Hannah Rose was in labor
that it was 3-16. Elaborating further as I appeared puzzled, she said, “John
3:16.” How special! That was my dear dad’s favorite Bible verse. It’s engraved
on his grave marker and she will be laid to rest by him. “For God so
loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on
Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It’s been
encouraging and motivating to read all the chapter 3, verse 16 Scriptures in
the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation. Both HR and I shared the thought
that the sky was gloomy because Jesus was weeping along with us. As the sun
slipped behind the clouds, God’s Son brought the peace that passes all
understanding, Jesus’ healing balm. After she realized Lily was dead, during
her long labor, Hannah Rose’s sparkling blue eyes appeared to see Heaven, her
spirit was supernaturally sweet and she displayed such strength. She truly gave
Jesus all authority, and He was glorified through the entire experience. At the
same time we said, “hello” to our new joy, we were also required to say,
“goodbye.“ Being afforded the blessing of spending time holding and rocking her
was healing. In the true, inspirational book The Hiding Place, Betsy ten Boom tells her sister Corrie and the
other women in the concentration camp with them that “no matter how
deep the pit, God’s love is deeper still.” The joy Lily brought will
always be with us, even during this most difficult part of our journey, because
happiness depends on happenings, while joy depends on Jesus! A tiny heart
beating steadily for nine months has found its home in Him! I want to encourage
each of you to heed what we‘re commanded in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all
else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Realize too
that the heart cannot exalt in what the mind rejects.
“Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount
up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary. They shall run and
not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31
As we have the need for everyone to mourn Lily’s untimely death with us, we
also want you to join us in celebrating her lovely life with us! We lift our
eyes to the Maker of the mountains we can’t climb!
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